Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
