She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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