Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just gargled with NyQuil
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
