You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
