Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
