I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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