I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
