i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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