This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You did what with his pubic hair?
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