Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
