On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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