sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
