i just wanna soil my oats bro
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
