I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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