I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
