I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
