he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
