hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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