That's when you crack a 10am beer
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
