these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Randomize
