With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
