It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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