I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
