i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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