I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I've blown a few things in my day
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
