id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
