either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
