hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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