belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
