the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
