what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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