Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
