Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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