it wasn't lemon gatorade
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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