First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
