how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
