Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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