I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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