Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
