he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
whose parrot is this?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
