is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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