Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Randomize
