Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is not your playground.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
