I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
