I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
