ya dads aren't the best wingmen
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
