So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
