Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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