Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize