sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
