He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize