Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
