I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
