fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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