I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
