Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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