Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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