Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??

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(407): big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in?? http://tfl.nu/zn6n

Replies (36) Good night (1822) Bad night (498)
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(802): View more from Vermont

You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?

(1-802): View more from Vermont

The one in Montpelier?

(802): View more from Vermont

yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.

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(802): You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns? (1-802): The one in Montpelier? (802): yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed. http://tfl.nu/hzcv

Replies (53) Good night (479) Bad night (2228)
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(315): View more from New York

So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.

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(315): So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs. http://tfl.nu/ibfv

Replies (124) Good night (42867) Bad night (1350)
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(937): View more from Ohio

love makes seman taste better

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(937): love makes seman taste better http://tfl.nu/bxjy

Replies (37) Good night (4649) Bad night (918)
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(360): View more from Washington

My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.

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(360): My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this. http://tfl.nu/p7t1

Replies (17) Good night (1076) Bad night (4718)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD

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(781): Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD http://tfl.nu/rpdj

Replies (10) Good night (1005) Bad night (3154)
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(757): View more from Virginia

We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.

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(757): We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/rh0l

Replies (5) Good night (2312) Bad night (673)
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(217): View more from Illinois

We're knee deep in HJ's right now.

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(217): We're knee deep in HJ's right now. http://tfl.nu/uucd

Replies (10) Good night (1216) Bad night (500)
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(419): View more from Ohio

You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Um. I literally have no words.

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(419): You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service. (1-419): Um. I literally have no words. http://tfl.nu/ua9g

Replies (3) Good night (1918) Bad night (806)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."

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(413): He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there." http://tfl.nu/pomo

Replies (7) Good night (468) Bad night (3164)
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(310): View more from California

I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...

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(310): I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall... http://tfl.nu/nu3z

Replies (8) Good night (1369) Bad night (514)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow

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(859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://tfl.nu/bjeb

Replies (5) Good night (1816) Bad night (417)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.

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(401): she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack. http://tfl.nu/1xr0

Replies (2) Good night (413) Bad night (934)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.

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(785): Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes. http://tfl.nu/4ozu

Replies (6) Good night (992) Bad night (349)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.

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(701): If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times. http://tfl.nu/s20h

Replies (5) Good night (609) Bad night (224)

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