I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
