we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize