if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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