oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...