pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
