When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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