do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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