So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
