Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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