If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
