a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
