i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
